


I didn't intend on writing one of these.. it just happened

by apieformydean



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: ? - Freeform, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Funny, Group chat, I hope, M/M, Suggestive Themes, Swearing, Swearing in Russian, Talking Shit, but we love him, i'm in love with these, kik fic, rated teen for the language, viktor is a fuck up, viktuuri is basically married, why is this even a tag
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-17
Updated: 2017-02-12
Packaged: 2018-09-18 03:37:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,735
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9366353
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/apieformydean/pseuds/apieformydean
Summary: russianjesus: soo this is a groupchatprettiestofall: no shitmr katsuki-nikiforov: shh phichit dont be rudeprettiestofall: soz





	1. everyone hates him tbh

**Author's Note:**

> i'm not even sorry

**_russianjesus_ ** _has added_ **_mr katsuki-nikiforov_ ** _,_ **_IceTiger_ ** _,_ **_ThatKazakhDude_ ** _,_ **_prettiestofall_ ** _,_ **_;)_ ** _,_ **_KingJJ_ ** _,_ **_Leo <3Pizza_ ** _,_ **_smol bean_ ** _and_ **_czarina_ ** _to the groupchat._

 **_russianjesus_ ** _has renamed the groupchat '_ **_knife shoe losers_ ** _'._

 **ThatKazakhDude** : what is this

 **czarina** : thats what i wanted to ask

 **smol bean** : ah hey everyone

 **KingJJ** : Heyyyyyy!!

 **russianjesus** : soo this is a groupchat

 **prettiestofall** : no shit

 **mr katsuki-nikiforov** : shh phichit dont be rude

 **prettiestofall** : soz

 **russianjesus** : i know not everyone is in it yet but i wanted to keep it for just some of us for now bc u kno its almost yurios birthday?

 **Leo <3Pizza**: so?

 **russianjesus** : yuuri and i thought about throwing him a surprise party :)

 **smol bean** : ...

 **prettiestofall** : lol viktor u fuckup

 **KingJJ** : Oops

 **ThatKazakhDude** : wont really happen now

 **mr katsuki-nikiforov** : omg they are right vitya what have you done

 **russianjesus** : ???

 **IceTiger** : uhm

 **russianjesus** : OMF YURIO UR NOT SUPPOSED 2 BE HERE

 **IceTiger** : u literally added me????

 **_russianjesus_ ** _has removed_ **_IceTiger_ ** _from the groupchat._

 **mr katsuki-nikiforov** : uHM NOT HELPING

 **prettiestofall** : IM CRYINF VIKTOR OMFG

 **russianjesus** : IM PANICKING OKAY DONT JUDGE ME

 **czarina** : what a great start

 **russianjesus** : I FUCKED IT UP IM SORRY BABE

 **mr katsuki-nikiforov** : i will never let you do anything important ever again.

 **ThatKazakhDude** : can i add him back he's raging

 **smol bean** : uh-oh

 **mr katsuki-nikiforov** : yeah sure its whatever now

 **_ThatKazakhDude_ ** _has added_ **_IceTiger_ ** _to the groupchat._

 **czarina** : shitstorm incoming

 **prettiestofall** : omg brace urselves

 **IceTiger** : one thing is that you want to throw a party for me

 **mr katsuki-nikiforov** : yura..

 **IceTiger** : without telling me

 **mr katsuki-nikiforov** : we just wanted to surprise u

 **IceTiger** : i could tolerate that okay

 **IceTiger** : but you wOULD INVITE

 **IceTiger** : FUCKING JJ

 **IceTiger** : WHY TF WOULD U

 **Leo <3Pizza**: OOOH

 **KingJJ** : Okay that hurt

 **russianjesus** : OH MY IM SORRY I DIDNT KNOW U HATED HIM

 **czarina** : everyone hates him tbh

 **smol bean** : r00d

 **Leo <3Pizza**: but tru

 **KingJJ** : Guys I'm still in the chat you know

 **_IceTiger_ ** _has removed_ **_KingJJ_ ** _from the groupchat._

 **czarina** : wow that /was/ r00d

 **IceTiger** : and also who are these other people i dont know half of them

 **ThatKazakhDude** : you know me

 **IceTiger** : shut up asshole

 **russianjesus** : (i ship them so much)

 **mr katsuki-nikiforov** : (ikr!!!!))

 **Leo <3Pizza**: its Leo hey

 **IceTiger** : no shit

 **IceTiger** : czarina is mila isnt it

 **czarina** : yup hi there pretty boy

 **_IceTiger_ ** _has removed_ **_czarina_ ** _from the groupchat._

 **mr katsuki-nikiforov** : YOU CANT REMOVE EVERYBODY FROM HERE SON

 **_russianjesus_ ** _has added_ **_czarina_ ** _to the groupchat._

 **smol bean** : why didnt u add jj back

 **russianjesus** : ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **czarina** : юрачка я люблю тебя

 **IceTiger** : отвали

 **IceTiger** : okay but who is this

 **IceTiger** : smol bean

 **Leo <3Pizza**: its Guang Hong

 **IceTiger** : who the fuck

 **Leo <3Pizza**: my bf?

 **IceTiger** : ?

 **ThatKazakhDude** : the cute boy with the secret agent theme

 **IceTiger** : oh that kid yeah

 **IceTiger** : hey dont call people cute i forbid you

 **smol bean** : im 2 years older than you wtf

 **IceTiger** : ur screen name says smol dude

 **smol bean** : touche

 **IceTiger** : and what the hell is pretties to fall supposed to mean

 **prettiestofall** : yurio u r so obnoxious u kno that

 **mr katsuki-nikiforov** : its phichit also try again u got it wrong

 **IceTiger** : wait yeah

 **IceTiger** : still dumb af im the prettiest

 **Leo <3Pizza**: but why doesnt anybody want to know

 **Leo <3Pizza**: who winkface is

 **russianjesus** : ...

 **czarina** : think it over leo my friend

 **;)** : hey sexies ;))

 **IceTiger** : omf its chris right

 **;)** : 10 points to slytherin ;)

 **IceTiger** : did u just assume my house сука

 **ThatKazakhDude** : ... Yura we both are in Slytherin

 **IceTiger** : well

 **IceTiger** : he still doesnt get to make assumptions tho

 **IceTiger** : like them thinking i like fucking jj like wHAT TF IS WRONG W U ALL R U MOTHERFUCKING BLIND

 **mr katsuki-nikiforov** : oKAY OKAY WE ARE SORRY DAMN

 **ThatKazakhDude** : how could you not know btw

 **ThatKazakhDude** : you are not the best parents

 **IceTiger** : what the hELL THEY R NOT MY PARENTS BEKA

 **ThatKazakhDude** : ...

 **ThatKazakhDude** : really?

 **mr katsuki-nikiforov** : OMG NO

 **mr katsuki-nikiforov** : WELL I MEAN

 **mr katsuki-nikiforov** : KIND OF

 **IceTiger** : SHUT UP PIGGY UR NOT

 **ThatKazakhDude** : are you sure tho

 **russianjesus** : NO YURA WE R UR DADDIES

 **czarina** : vikTOR STOP SCARRING ME

 **ThatKazakhDude** : oh god i thought

 **IceTiger** : WHAT  T HE    FUC K

 **ThatKazakhDude** : that you two somehow adopted him or something

 **prettiestofall** : THIS GROUPCHHAT IS ALTEADY A TRAINWREKC

 **;)** : NO I THINK ITS FABULOUS

 **smol bean** : THIS IS FAR TOO ENTERTAINING OKAY GUY S DONT STOP

 **IceTiger** : THEY HAVE FICKING NOT

 **Leo <3Pizza**: okay but otabek

 **Leo <3Pizza**: why tf did u think they have

 **ThatKazakhDude** : i dont know they were just so protective of him all the time…

 **mr katsuki-nikiforov** : yeS BC HE IS A BABY BOY WHO JUST NEEDS A HUG

 **_IceTiger_ ** _has left the chat._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> юрачка я люблю тебя - yurachka i love you  
> отвали - fuck off


	2. the fucking vitya-katsudon way

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> prettiestofall: wtf r these pictures and y would u send them  
> prettiestofall: wait  
> prettiestofall: who r u sexting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is so queer but i think i ship them

**_;)_ ** _has sent 2 pictures._

 **;)** : fUCK

 **;)** : i mean

 **;)** : which picture is better guys haha

 **smol bean** : chris go to sleep man

 **;)** : uh haha ok bye

 **Leo <3Pizza**: u make selfies of urself in bed at 1:21am

 **smol bean** : are you even wearing clothes under that duvet

 **;)** : umm

 **smol bean** : id be actually surprised if u said yes tbh

 **prettiestofall** : stop texting i wanna sleep

 **Leo <3Pizza**: liar i can see ur reblogs on tumblr

 **prettiestofall** : wtf r these pictures and y would u send them

 **prettiestofall** : wait

 **prettiestofall** : shit chris

 **prettiestofall** : who r u sexting

 **;)** : why would u think that omg haha

 **Leo <3Pizza**: ….

 **smol bean** : …

 **prettiestofall** : …….???

 **;)** : … okay just ignore the pics they werent meant for u guys

 **prettiestofall** : KNEW IT

 **smol bean** : fuck he IS sexting

 **Leo <3Pizza**: i have a dangerous guess who it is but i dont want to know so i wont ask

 **mr katsuki-nikiforov** : hey kids stop texting u will wake yuuri

 **smol bean** : ????

 **mr katsuki-nikiforov** : oh its vitya btw hi

 **;)** : domestic

 **prettiestofall** : okay but leo if u think what i think u think we should readd someone

 **_prettiestofall_ ** _has added_ **_IceTiger_ ** _and_ **_KingJJ_ ** _to the groupchat._

 **mr katsuki-nikiforov** : nO WAY

 **smol bean** : BUT WHICH ONE DO MEAN

 **mr katsuki-nikiforov** : IT CANT BE MY LIL SON NO HES TOO PURE

 **Leo <3Pizza**: no idiot its jj

 **;)** : whAT THEFUCK NO

 **prettiestofall** : yeah i think it is

 **KingJJ** : Oh hey everyone!!

 **KingJJ** : You need me here after all, don’t you? Haha

 **mr katsuki-nikiforov** : the urge to remove him is killing me

 **smol bean** : just scroll up jj

 **Leo <3Pizza**: omg lerocometti exposed

 **prettiestofall** : ##LEROCOMETTI

 **;)** : I AM NOT SEXTING JEAN-JACQUES

 **;)** : STOP THIS

 **IceTiger** : u woke me up мудак

 **IceTiger** : why tf am i here again

 **prettiestofall** : u might wanna kno who ur bff is sexting

 **IceTiger** : what the fuck

 **;)** : I WOULD NEVER SEXT JJ EW WTH IS WRONG W U ALL

 **KingJJ** : That’s true, guys!!

 **KingJJ** : Well, I don’t mean you shouldn’t, tho… those selfies are bomb ;))

 **;)** : ich will sterben

 **smol bean** : i caNT TAKE THIS

 **mr katsuki-nikiforov** : no

 **Leo <3Pizza**: hes right viktor let me

 **mr katsuki-nikiforov** : no. no one is removing him

 **mr katsuki-nikiforov** : hes part of the ohana now

 **mr katsuki-nikiforov** : and thats my dad voice right here okay

 **KingJJ** : Dad voice? ;)

 **mr katsuki-nikiforov** : dont make me turn on u too leroy

 **prettiestofall** : so

 **prettiestofall** : now that im scarred for life

 **prettiestofall** : lets get back to The Problem

 **smol bean** : oh yeah who is assman sexting

 **;)** : im muting this chat now

 **Leo <3Pizza**: does he have anyone serious atm

 **mr katsuki-nikiforov** : none that i kno of

 **prettiestofall** : bullshit

 **prettiestofall** : that ass begs for a daddydom

 **smol bean** : u saying that

 **smol bean** : 

 **smol bean** : ?

 **prettiestofall** : absolutely

 **IceTiger** : i saw him w this guy once

 **KingJJ** : Oh my god

 **Leo <3Pizza**: u mean

 **Leo <3Pizza**: >>>WITH<<<

 **IceTiger** : eWW NO

 **IceTiger** : he was sitting at a bar after he left the banquet w that long haired guy

 **IceTiger** : beka and i saw him there and he looked at the guy in the fucking vitya-katsudon way

 **mr katsuki-nikiforov** : wait what do u mean

 **prettiestofall** : omg i kno that guy i always see him w chris

 **Leo <3Pizza**: oh mY GOD

 **KingJJ** : This is so queer but I think I ship them

 **smol bean** : THAT LOOK IS SO SWEET OMF I CRI EVRITIM IF ONLY I HAD SOME1 WHO LOOKS AT ME LIEK THAT

 **Leo <3Pizza**: …

 **Leo <3Pizza**: wont even comment it

 **smol bean** : JK BABE ILY

 **;)** : i should’ve never left yall alone wtf is this chat

 **mr katsuki-nikiforov** : buT WHAT DO U MEAN

 **prettiestofall** : oc he doesnt kno

 **prettiestofall** : ofc

 **;)** : just to be frank

 **;)** : would it matter if i said i was actually straight

 **smol bean** : no

 **prettiestofall** : no

 **KingJJ** : Nope

 **IceTiger** : not at all

 **Leo <3Pizza**: not in the slightest

 **mr katsuki-nikiforov** : …. please

 **mr katsuki-nikiforov** : i think u forgot

 **;)** : bitch dont do it

 **mr katsuki-nikiforov** : gpf

 **mr katsuki-nikiforov** : 2010

 **IceTiger** : чё за галима виктор

 **Leo <3Pizza**: stop talking nonsense kid

 **;)** : NIKIFOROV MORE LIKE DICKHEADFOROV OMFG THAT WAS A SECRET

 **prettiestofall** : WAIT

 **smol bean** : THIS MAKES ME UNCOMFORTABLE FUCK

 **prettiestofall** : DOES THIS MEAN

 **Leo <3Pizza**: OH GOD PHICHIT WE DON’T WANT TO KNOW DON’T ASK

 **prettiestofall** : THT U 2 HAD THE SEKS

 **mr katsuki-nikiforov** : ;))

 **_mr katsuki-nikiforov_ ** _has removed_ **_;)_ ** _from the groupchat._

 **_mr katsuki-nikiforov_ ** _has left the groupchat._

 **IceTiger** : fucking idiot

 **KingJJ** : Do you think he knows he has just removed Yuuri from the chat?

 **prettiestofall** : wow vitya u real fuckup

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> #LEROCOMETTI BUT ALSO #GIACOFOROV AMIRIGHT
> 
>  
> 
> (jk im sorry dont take me too srsly)
> 
> мудак - fucker  
> ich will sterben - i want to die  
> чё за галима виктор - what the fuck viktor


	3. one more winkface at my boyfriend and i will gut u with my pretty blades

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> smol bean: i think viktuuri is life goals tbh  
> czarina: eww no way too many dicks there  
> czarina: i mean like literal dicks like penises no offense intended @ the nikiforovs  
> IceTiger: yeah we get it ur a lesbian move on

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this took me forever??? idek why

**_prettiestofall_ ** _has added_ **_mr katsuki-nikiforov_ ** _to the groupchat._

 **IceTiger** : so much of good times here fml

 **mr katsuki-nikiforov** : uh hey

 **smol bean** : how nice of u to join

 **KingJJ** : Should we add Christophe though?

 **KingJJ** : I mean... I’m not sure we should...

 **prettiestofall** : ooooohh r u smad at him

 **IceTiger** : was last nights sexting this bad

 **mr katsuki-nikiforov** : i dont even want to ask

 **mr katsuki-nikiforov** : but why was i removed in the first place?

 **prettiestofall** : scroll up

 **smol bean** : …

 **smol bean** : silently waiting for his reaction

 **IceTiger** : same

 **mr katsuki-nikiforov** : WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS

 **prettiestofall** : i dont even kno which part u reading man

 **mr katsuki-nikiforov** : CHRIS SEXTING

 **mr katsuki-nikiforov** : OH VITya replied from my phone okay i see why u removed him

 **smol bean** : oh it will get so much better keep reading ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **prettiestofall** : …

 **Leo <3Pizza**: …. babe

 **IceTiger** : okay but like

 **IceTiger** : thats borderline cruel

 **ThatKazakhDude** : wow yura

 **prettiestofall** : SHIT U KNO UR BEING AN ASS WHEN YURI P NEEDS TO STOP U

 **IceTiger** : dont u dare call me yuri p ever again fucker

 **KingJJ** : Ooooh, little princess has a heart :3

 **IceTiger** : ...beka

 **ThatKazakhDude** : yeah?

 **IceTiger** : if u run someone over w the bike

 **IceTiger** : will they die immediately or suffer for some time before dying

 **Leo <3Pizza**: u cant go around and murder people yura

 **Leo <3Pizza**: not even if they r jj

 **mr katsuki-nikiforov** : (oh oc ur not straight chris wth)

 **ThatKazakhDude** : well it depends on the speed and distance and some other things but i'm almost sure they would suffer first

 **ThatKazakhDude** : why?

 **Leo <3Pizza**: okay forget what ive just said this is hilarious

 **KingJJ** : Does anybody care I’m here???

 **prettiestofall** : nah

 **smol bean** : not when u dont talk tbh

 **smol bean** : ur cool when silent

 **IceTiger** : rekt

 **prettiestofall** : but wait wheres vitya

 **ThatKazakhDude** : earlier this morning i heard him and yuuri

 **ThatKazakhDude** : being... busy

 **smol bean** : @ altin stop m8888 fuk

 **IceTiger** : im not here for fucking this

 **czarina** : i just came online but it was enough internet for today bye

 **Leo <3Pizza**: nooo mila dont go im the only sane one here i need u

 **smol bean** : iglesia ur the most immature one in the gc wtf

 **prettiestofall** : says the >>>smol bean<<<<

 **smol bean** : can u stop making fun of my name fuckers

 **KingJJ** : Guys...

 **KingJJ** : Now Yuuri has disappeared too…

 **Leo <3Pizza**: eww

 **IceTiger** : they r like fucking rabbits srsly

 **ThatKazakhDude** : no i’m sure i would hear that

 **czarina** : this is disgusting

 **smol bean** : i think viktuuri is life goals tbh

 **czarina** : eww no way too many dicks there

 **czarina** : i mean like literal dicks like penises no offense intended @ the nikiforovs

 **IceTiger** : yeah we get it ur a lesbian move on

 **Leo <3Pizza**: okay but still otabek u deserve all the medals for staying next door to them

 **prettiestofall** : phuLEASE

 **prettiestofall** : he has it easy

 **prettiestofall** : ive heard yuuri jerk off a hundred times in the middle of the night when we shared a room in college

 **KingJJ** : Okay but this is waaay TMI Phichit

 **IceTiger** : fuCK WHY DO U YALL NEED TO BE THIS SHAMELESS

 **IceTiger** : I FUCKING WANT TO DEFENESTRATE MYSELF

 **czarina** : someones been taking english lessons huh

 **smol bean** : he will probs have a kazakh accent in the future iykwi ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **IceTiger** : shut the fuck up

 **Leo <3Pizza**: love uve literally just said ‘if you know what i [lennyface]’

 **smol bean** : uhh???? yeah??? thats how i chose to express myself??? problemmmm????

 **Leo <3Pizza**: or rather u just cant spell

 **smol bean** : woAH back off iglesassia

 **Leo <3Pizza**: or else? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **KingJJ** : Hmm maybe Guang Hong could use some English lessons as well ;)))

 **Leo <3Pizza**: one more winkface at my boyfriend and i will gut u with my pretty blades

 **KingJJ** : Okay okay I get it :c

 **smol bean** : hey children

 **smol bean** : did someone say

 **smol bean** : winkface

 **IceTiger** : n O

 **_smol bean_ ** _has added_ **_;)_ ** _to the group chat._

 **KingJJ** : FML

 **IceTiger** : i get it ur masochistic but wHY TF WOULD U DO THIS

 **;)** : ahh hey beautiful babes ;)))

 **czarina** : yurachka what was that about that window earlier it seems v tempting now

 **prettiestofall** : welcome back assman

 **Leo <3Pizza**: the gang is together again woooo

 **prettiestofall** : alright but as much as i love the fucking pointless shit this chat is

 **prettiestofall** : someone should prolly check on yuuri and viktor

 **ThatKazakhDude** : yeah done that

 **ThatKazakhDude** : they had a screaming match and now are making out in the hallway

 **smol bean** : okay but someone fucking tell me wtf has happened in 2010

 **prettiestofall** : no idea

 **Leo <3Pizza**: i pass

 **IceTiger** : i was literally 9 then idfk anything

 **;)** : oh its still about that

 **czarina** : what the hell am i missing

 **;)** : it was nothing serious guys

 **;)** : i mean it like come on we were kids

 **prettiestofall** : we all know ur lying

 **;)** : just a bottle of fine cabernet sauvignon and some pg13 kissing

 **KingJJ** : … You don't do PG kissing, Christophe.

 **smol bean** : oooh someone has a first hand experience

 **Leo <3Pizza**: ##LEROCOMETTI

 **;)** : okay it was... several bottles of cheap wine

 **;)** : and a make-out session

 **prettiestofall** : wOaH WHAT

 **IceTiger** : WHAT THE FUCK

 **Leo <3Pizza**: THIS IS HILARIOUS OH MY GOD

 **smol bean** : i donT EVEN WANT TO KNOW MORE THANKS V MUCH

 **czarina** : no wonder why yuuri went crazy then

 **;)** : oH FFS IT WAS JUST DRUNK MAKING OUT ITS NO BIG DEAL

 **Leo <3Pizza**: NO BIG DEAL

 **Leo <3Pizza**: IF IT WAS GUANG I WOULD FUCKING SKIN U

 **;)** : HE IS LIKE HALF MY AGE WHO TF DO U TAKE ME FOR

 **smol bean** : IM 72% OF UR AGE SHUT IT OLD MAN IM 18 NOW

 **prettiestofall** : I TAKE SIDES W U LEO MY DUDE ITS INSANE

 **czarina** : okay but they were like

 **czarina** : what

 **czarina** : 21 and 18

 **czarina** : that was ages ago

 **russianjesus** : bItCH not tHAT long ago

 **smol bean** : good ur here to explain

 **prettiestofall** : wow u managed leave yuuris face applause

 **Leo <3Pizza**: OKAy but mila imagine

 **Leo <3Pizza**: hi vitya also come take my side

 **Leo <3Pizza**: so imagine sara dating like idk georgi before she met u

 **;)** : viktor i still want to murder you for this

 **;)** : also leo umm excuse u did u just fucking compare me to georgi

 **russianjesus** : why chris did u not love it ;))

 **russianjesus** : leo how could i take ur side seriously

 **IceTiger** : it pains me to say it but i do

 **KingJJ** : Yeah, me too…

 **IceTiger** : i mean beka i fucking hope u wont ever go and find another bro ever bc then i will have to bury them

 **smol bean** : >>>>>brO<<<<<

 **russianjesus** : oh god

 **czarina** : im gagging this is so gay

 **;)** : smOL YURI WOULD BE JEALOUS OMFG

 **IceTiger** : no i would have to protect him from nasty people and i dont fucking have the time for that

 **KingJJ** : This is the sweetest thing ever :’)

 **IceTiger** : i want to kill u all

 **russianjesus** : not ur papa yurio omg

 **Leo <3Pizza**: this gave me a reason to live tbh

 **prettiestofall** : i cant even say anything about this im too overwhelmed w The GAyy

 **_IceTiger_ ** _has left the chat_

 **KingJJ** : Noooo, kid, not again

 **smol bean** : well he was weak thats it

 **russianjesus** : he will come back he doesnt exist outside this gc

 

 _Private message to them:_ **_IceTiger_ **

**ThatKazakhDude** : it’s okay yura i don’t plan on looking for anyone else

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> shitty ending i know but i needed to wrap this up bc it was getting fucking LonG

**Author's Note:**

> if you enjoyed this please comment bc i'm a slut for comments and subscribe bc there will definitely be more (i have no life so i write these oky)


End file.
